Six months later driving down the rainy highway.


Living in a small town has it advantages, but having to drive many miles to your job can be irritating, and in inclement weather, doubly so.
"Oh for crying out loud," Jeff muttered aloud, as snow started falling. He wasn't surprised since it was getting close to Thanksgiving and "snow comes regular this time of year", the locals were always telling him. As his commute continued, he was aware that the snow had become mixed with ice on his windshield. He moved his heater to full and move the lever to defrost. The snow and ice started to fall harder and the wipers were having a hard time keeping up. The traffic was starting to slow down, as the roads were becoming more treacherous by the minute. A car heading in the same direction as Jeff came along side as Jeff cast a quick glance his way. Suddenly the car on his left started sliding first left, then back to the right toward Jeff. He quickly, but carefully, so as to not over-steer, which would cause the car to go into a spin, steered to the right so his right wheels were on the berm of the roadway. Just as he thought he was about to be slammed in the side by the swerving car, it veered off in the opposite direction and continued off the road onto the median strip and jolted to a stop. The snow continued to fall. This was really getting serious. The cars ahead were swerving back and forth, trying to keep moving and out of each other's way. All of the sudden to his left appeared a maniac speeding past him, impervious to the snow and ice. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph", Jeff said out loud, "this idiot is either drunk or crazy", he thought. His mind could see what was going to happen, this nincompoop is going to slam into the back of the car ahead and with the ice and snow, the pileup will start and he could see no way that he would miss sliding right into the pile. As it occurs, when you slip and fall, it seemed that time was running in slow motion. He started praying as if he had all the time in the world, just when ironically he was pretty sure he would be leaving it quite soon.


"Dear God, please take care of Ellen", and then as if he was sitting in church and wished to include others in his prayer, he continued whimsically, "Mom and Dad, I'll see you soon". He jerked the steering wheel to the right in a reflex action, knowing it was of no use, but as the wheels took hold of the highway and obeyed his command, a ramp appeared and he sped away from the certain disaster that was ahead of him. As he came to the end of the ramp at the stop sign, he brought the car to a stop and his head fell against the steering wheel in complete exhaustion and bewilderment. "Damn", he thought, "that was so close. I don't know how I missed it." After a moment, he looked up and saw across the road from the exit ramp a diner with an open sign blinking on and off. The whole diner was brightly lit and seemed to glow with a look of warmth and welcome. He was drawn to it as if it was magnetic, and he needed a chance to rest his nerves, he thought, before getting back on the road. As he pulled into the diners parking lot and got out of his car, he paused a moment before closing the door, listening. "Strange", he thought. "I don't hear any sirens of emergency vehicles. Certainly, I would hear them by now. There had to be an accident on that highway. It was imminent, there was no escaping it." But all he heard was the hum of traffic, all quite normal. Shaking his head, he walked to the diner. He stopped just inside the door, and stared. It looked like every other diner he had ever been in, except everything looked brand spanking new. The long curved counter gleamed. In front of the windows overlooking the parking lot were tables with dazzling white tablecloths, each adorned with vases of flowers of every known variety. The aromas were wonderful and inviting, aromas he had not been treated to since he was a child in his mother's kitchen. He selected a table and sat, stretching his legs under the table, feeling a wonderful contentment. A waitress knowing just when to come to the table approached him. Her uniform like everything in this place looked clean and starched.


"Good morning", she said smiling. "May I get you a cup of coffee or tea while you decide what you would like?"


"Tea would be great." Jeff said. "Am I too early? There doesn't seem to be anyone here yet."


"No", the waitress said, "You're right on time."


Jeff looked at the waitress with a puzzled look, but then his hunger got the best of him, and he decided to study the menu. He couldn't believe what he saw, chocolate pancakes with pecan praline sauce. It was a breakfast treat his mother would make on holidays or birthdays. She always believed it would make a special day that much more special. When he had given his order to the waitress, she smiled. Without writing anything on her order-pad, she turned and went to the kitchen.


He felt so relaxed and the sun streaming through the windows made him drowsier yet, so even though he tried his best to shake himself awake, he couldn't. His head fell forward onto his chest and he slept.
On the table in front of him was his breakfast of special pancakes and tea, and standing at the table was his mother.


"Please eat." She said. "You've had a long journey and I know you're hungry, everyone always is."


Tears welled up in his eyes, as he realized that this was indeed his mother standing before him. Confusion and happiness ran through him as he reached for her hand. She smiled that smile he had seen a hundred times or more when he was hurt or confused and needed the unconditional love that only she could give him. The smile that said I understand, and whatever else is happening, I will always love you and be here for you.


"Mom, I don't," he started to say.


"I know," she said, "come and walk with me and I'll explain everything."


Jeff took his mother's hand, and felt comforted as he had so many times before. The door opened before them and a spectrum of color dazzled his eyes, the brilliant blue and white of the sky and glorious greens of grass and tree. His ears were serenaded by the music of the song sparrow, and the warmth of the sun soothed him. They were walking down a sidewalk under an umbrella of green maple leaves. The sun splashed on them as it found openings through the leaves. White houses stood on either side of a residential brick street. Children were playing in a vacant lot, and on many of the porches that ran the length of the front of the houses, people were sitting on rockers sipping iced tea. A dog could be heard barking in the distance. From time to time someone from a porch would greet his mother and remark on what a fine day it was. Occasionally she would answer back, "This is my son Jeff." They would all smile knowingly and nod. They approached a small park with small sculptures among the flowers where they sat on a bench and Jeff spoke for the first time.


"Mom, this is a wonderful place. If I remember right, it's how things were when you were growing up. You must be very happy."


Ruth put her arm through his, laid her head on his shoulder and told him of all the magnificent things she had seen that fulfilled all her hopes and beliefs. Then she paused and looking at Jeff said, "You haven't asked about your father. I'm curious why not."


Jeff squirmed a little and seemed reluctant to go on, but decided he must. "Well," he began haltingly, "I know you and dad loved each other very much, and I heard you say more than once, as you got older, that in the next life we wouldn't have to fret about illness or pain." Jeff tried to choose his next words carefully, "I thought they were words of encouragement to put the pain associated with growing older out of your minds, but then after a while, I thought, these aren't just words, they're serious." Then the words poured out about his thoughts and hopes and doubts. Jeff told her about the discovery of the letter and the revelation that they always believed they'd be together forever. Then he told her of his sadness in not being able to have that same faith.


Ruth gathered him in her arms. "My poor boy, my serious, capable, responsible, loving boy, yes it is true." She took her arms from around him and pointed across the street to a house that looked just like the one he had grown up in, and there standing on the porch waiting for them was his father. As they got to their feet and walked to him, he spread out his arms and gathered them both to him.


The warmth and comfort, the complete love took his breath away and he knew he was home, as they stood connected one to the other.


"Dad, I'm so glad to be home." He said.



_____________________________________________________




"Well, I'll tell you pal, I'm glad you're back, I think we lost you there for a few moments," the paramedic said as he slapped an oxygen mask over Jeff's nose and mouth. "And I'm not your dad, but I'll take care of you just like he would until I get you to the hospital. You're lucky to be alive after that mess back there. A few weren't as lucky as you."


_____________________________________________________


"Jeff", she said, "Can you hear me?" asked Ellen worriedly.


"I think he's coming around." Said Dr. Wadsworth.


Clouds, gray clouds were the first things Jeff saw as he started back to consciousness. The gray clouds began to brighten up and then started swirling. He close his eyes tightly, his brain not yet cognizant of what was happening. After a moment he tried to open his eyes again. This time it was a bright fog, with someone above the clouds looking down at him. The fog cleared and Ellen stood over him looking as frightened as he could ever remember her being.
"Jeff", she said loudly, "Can you hear me, do you know who I am?"


Jeff looked at her for a moment and then gave her a crooked smile, "Yes honey, I can see you. I'm glad to be back."


Then the clouds returned and he slept.


The doctor beside Ellen, after taking a few more tests, smiled and said, "He's going to be O.K. Ellen.


Two weeks later, sitting in his favorite chair, relishing the fussing and doting, he laid his head back and smiled. Earlier as he was finishing a cup of tea, Ellen had brought a black plastic bag to him.
"The people at the hospital gave me this bag", she said, "It's all that was salvageable from the accident. I told them to dispose of your clothes, they were a mess and I didn't think you'd want anything that reminded you of that day."


Jeff, sitting at the kitchen table, poured out the contents. There was his wallet, coins, handkerchief, chewing gum, his keys and a piece of paper. He toyed with the keys, threw the gum and handkerchief away and moved the piece of paper back and forth with his thumb. As he finished his tea, he picked up the paper and opened it.


As he read, tears filled his eyes and time stood still. All sound ceased, he could hear his breathing, as his eyes remained transfixed on the paper. There in his hand was proof for an unbeliever. It was a message for him alone. A message that opened up eternity to him, a gift unmeasurable by any earthly gauge, a gift of love. There in his hand was the paper taken from the pocket of his suit. The recipe for chocolate pancakes to be served only to special people on special occasions and signed: Enjoy them forever, with love, Mom and Dad.


END


(C) copyright 2001 Jim Kittelberger. All Rights Reserved.